


Take My Hand (take my whole life, too)

by twosuns



Series: How He Found Out series [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, Canon-Compliant up to 5x13, F/M, Future Fic, How He Found Out series, Old Friends, One Shot, Revised Version, Season/Series 06 Speculation, bellamy + clarke, life on the Eligius planet, madi + bellamy brotp, murphamy brotp, otp: I can't lose you too, otp: it isn't easy being in charge, season 6 spec, the delinquents family, these two fools, unity day fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2020-05-16 16:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19321825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosuns/pseuds/twosuns
Summary: After years of people making assumptions about he and Clarke, Madi can see the defensiveness in Bellamy's expression already. Bellamy lets out a strained laugh, brushing off her words but unable to meet her eye. “C’mon Madi, Clarke doesn't-” He trails off.... or does she?Canon up to 5x13: a future fic oneshot where Madi finds herself confronting Bellamy about Clarke, again. Soft bellarke Unity Day slightly domestic slow burn fluff!





	Take My Hand (take my whole life, too)

 

Rover is excited as he runs ahead of Bellamy, out the front door for their morning walk together. It was a routine born from the Dropship days that Bellamy still found comfort in: he and his loving dog would make the rounds to check on their people first thing every morning. Today, the sun is shining over the place they call home and he finds himself nostalgic: looking back on how far they’d come over the years.

 

Once they were truly at peace, much of Earthkru (as they affectionately dubbed themselves) decided to relocate into the Sanctum city. But for Bellamy and many of his close comrades, it was a quieter life they were after… they opted to stay and convert their landing site into proper homes for themselves. That was almost 5 years ago, and in a lot of ways it felt like a whole ‘nother lifetime.

 

The first year had been chaotic. Even after their people were settled, inexperience of this planet and its dangers proved to be lethal. Getting to know the locals helped tremendously: but it came with a price. Once again, the people of Earth were caught up in politics and life-or-death circumstance. They did the right thing: eventually found a way to lasting peace… but it was not without loss.

 

Shaw died only a few months in, and for a long time it was like a piece of Raven died along with him. Though she buried herself in work more than Bellamy would like: she now found herself leading up every one of their engineering and tech programs. Emori and Murphy, though busy working beside her (and with their new additions) still insist on having both Raven and Jordan over for family meals every night. Emori insists that neither Shaw or Harper would approve of them eating alone.

 

Octavia and Niylah have kept a low profile and built a happy life together: Octavia working as a scavenger for medical and science, while her better half teaches Earth Studies to the locals. Jackson and Miller juggle parenthood with their posts beside Bellamy and Clarke, and Indra took a step back once peace was reached (while Gaia remains a close adviser to Madi). Generally, everyone was enjoying content and quiet lives.

 

Coming around the corner of the road, Bellamy spots Echo starting out of her small cottage. Her posture is relaxed as she backs out the door with an arm-full of bags, calling her household to follow. She and Bellamy parted ways as lovers a long time ago… but their being close family never changed. And since then, Echo found the love of her life in her two-year-old son Theo (who was as fearless as his mother, already).

 

As she turns around with the boy in her arms, their eyes meet and Bellamy gives her a knowing smile. Motherhood looks good on her.

 

Rover runs up to the boy and barks for attention, same as every other morning. Bellamy nods and starts ahead again: knowing the dog will come find him once he’s finished visiting.

 

A few minutes later, Bellamy is coming into the heart of their little community: the crossroads that leads toward the city. Standing outside her home with two steaming mugs, was Madi.

 

Madi had grown into a vibrant young woman; older now than Clarke was when she and Bellamy met... and in many ways she was just like her mother. Stubborn, practical, but also hopeful in a way that inspired people. Peace had afforded her the chance to become a new kind of Commander: and so she had taken the time to understand exactly what that meant for her people. Gradually she stepped into a full-time leadership role, and though Clarke and Bellamy would always hold a special place in the fabric of Earthrku: the opportunity to let someone else be in charge was a welcomed one.

 

Usually, he and Madi meet at this spot and head over to the nearby bridge for coffee and conversation. But today she was busy talking to Gaia, Miller, and two of their coordinators... no doubt going over Unity Day plans for tonight.

 

“-and please remind everyone: it’s half days only today. The celebration starts at sundown and I want to give everyone time to spend with their families first. Miller: you and I need to take a look at the venue and prioritise what we have to get finished this morning. I'll meet you soon.” Madi thanks the group and nods a quick goodbye to the group as Bellamy approaches them.

 

She hands him one of the steaming copper mugs and he savours the first sip: of all the things that Sanctum had brought them, black coffee was one of his favourites.

 

“Thanks... Isn’t it a little early to be going over venue plans? The sun is hardly up, Madi.” Bellamy teases.

 

Madi sighs and guzzles down her drink greedily between words: “I think when Unity Day is over, I’m going to need another year just to recover from planning it. The Commanders didn’t prepare me for this.”

 

Bellamy laughs, soaking up the reminder that those shoes are no longer his to fill. “I’m sure you’ll do great Madi. And as long as you don't bring a flask with you to spike the punch: you are _already_ doing a better job than your mother and I did." he winks.

 

Madi laughs and looks at him sideways, not entirely convinced that he's kidding. Bellamy has a special way of making her forget what she was stressing about. 

As a silence overtakes them, something changes in Madi’s expression. She abruptly stops talking and looks at him pointedly, as if she’s remembered something.

 

“...everything okay Madi?”

 

She bites her lip (just like Clarke does) and furrows her brow for a minute.

“I have to follow Miller and take care of a few things, but I can meet you after? At the bridge? Twenty minutes, then we can talk.”

 

He wants to pry, but thinks better of it and nods. She starts to rush away, but not before turning back to yell: “And don’t forget about tonight Bellamy-- I’ve got a great speech this year!”

 

He smiles and waves her away… of course he wouldn’t forget. His chest swells in pride: she’s been writing her Unity Day address for weeks now. He wouldn’t miss it for the world.

 

As if sensing that he’s without a companion, Rover comes running up beside Bellamy and starts to bark: no doubt wondering what the hold up is. Bellamy leans down and scratches behind his ears: “Don’t worry buddy, she’s going to take care of some things. We’ll go see O first, okay?”

 

-

Madi catches up with him just as he's strolling up to the bridge. She's looking far less tense now, mindlessly running her hands along the wildflowers as they go. She tells him about the walk with Miller, describes the entertainment for the evening, reminds him of her speech again: obliviously caught up in the excitement of it all for a moment.

The pair perch themselves on the edge of the bridge and quietly fix their gaze on the water. Bellamy can hear Madi take a deep breath.

“She's leaving, Bellamy.”

Bellamy looks at her sideways, trying to place what she might be talking about.

“... She's leaving? Madi what are you-”

“Clarke.” Madi interjects annoyed, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "As soon as the festivities are over she's packing up and going to the city.”

His brow furrows, Clarke hadn't mentioned taking a trip. “Packing up? How long is she going for, I didn't know she had business-”

Madi doesn't need to say anything, she simply turns and holds his gaze.

“You mean, she's… _leaving_?”

Bellamy runs his hand through his hair. Madi nods in answer and raises her eyebrows as if to say: _crazy, right?_

“She told me this morning at breakfast. All she needs to do is finish packing and let the resettlement team know she’s ready. They already have a place ready for her, I guess.”

“But why now? We've all finally grown into a life here, why does she want to leave?”

This earns an all-too flippant shrug from Madi.

“She says that she isn't needed here anymore”

“I didn't ask what _she said_ , Madi,” Bellamy snaps and shoots her a look, "I asked you: _why is_ she leaving?”

Madi knew exactly what he meant: Clarke has never been one to outright say what she feels, and deciphering what she _actually_ means to say has been a frequent topic of conversation between Madi and Bellamy over the years. 

She takes a beat, considering how to answer. Eventually Madi sighs and lets an anxious Bellamy out of his misery.

“If you want to know what I think, Bellamy? Let's say, _in theory,_ that she has... feelings for someone. She fell for someone years ago and just never found the right time to tell them. And now it's been _so long_ that she's _convinced_ they don't feel the same... she _might_ , in _theory, eventually..._ think that the only way to move on with her life is to put some distance between them.”

After years of people making assumptions about he and Clarke, Madi can see the defensiveness in Bellamy's expression already. She holds up a hand to shush him before he starts, and continues:

“I'll say this: _hypothetically_? If _I_ was that person and I _did happen_ to feel the same way: I would make sure she knew about it... before it's too late.”

Bellamy lets out a strained laugh, intending to brush off her words but unable to meet her eye. “C’mon Madi, Clarke doesn't-...”

He trails off... and he can feel some hopeful part of him already beaming with excitement.

_She doesn’t… does she?_

Madi gives him a knowing smile and starts to stand up. “Something to think about, Bellamy.”

She puts her hand on his shoulder supportively as he's done so many times for her, and Bellamy gives it a grateful squeeze back. As overwhelmed as he suddenly felt, he couldn’t help the light flutter in his chest, or the tentative smile spreading across his face.

Something to think about, was right.

-

The medical building is quiet; most of the staff still a few hours from making their way in. This isn't the usual time Bellamy would drop by to see Clarke (by making a habit of showing up in the afternoon, she's forced to take at least one break every day)... but having an excuse to see her earlier puts a spring in his step. He heads towards the back corridor where Clarke's team works and before he sees her, he can hear her talking to herself.

 

The door is open and he strolls into her office without an acknowledgement. Clarke is busy with some kind of sample at her workstation: furiously moving between scribbling notes and adjusting dials on a microscope, mumbling numbers to herself.

 

When she gets like this with her work: it’s like the rest of the world ceases to exist. Bellamy stands back and watches her for a moment, admiring the way she mindlessly plays with her pencil as she takes a nano-second to think.

 

“Another breakthrough in the making?” he speaks up, causing Clarke to jump and shriek.

 

She laughs at herself and playfully hits him in the arm, "Warn a girl before you appear out of nowhere, Blake!”

 

Bellamy fake-winces with a chuckle and holds up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, you were so lost in the moment…”

 

He trails off and laughs again, stopping a tad abruptly when he catches her blue eyes staring back at him. Clarke holds his gaze unabashedly for a beat, searching his face for something.“ _Why are_ you here so early?"

 

Then, by reflex, she walks towards him with a serious expression and starts looking for an injury. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

 

Her concern touches a chord in Bellamy and he forces himself to relax, nodding reassuringly.

“I'm fine, Clarke. _Really_.”

 

She says nothing, but her expression softens some when he takes her hands and gives them a gentle squeeze.

 

"Something _is_ different about you, though."

 

It's not a question, she searches his face again.

 

Bellamy smiles and takes another step towards her, bringing them a hairsbreadth closer than their posture would usually allow. His expression turns dark and blinding at the same time: despite herself, Clarke feels her breath catch as she waits for an explanation.

 

“I'm just… looking at things with new eyes today.” he finally says, not breaking eye contact.

 

Now her stare turns inquisitive but again, she decides to reserve comment for later.

 

Their eye contact lingers a moment longer, before Bellamy moves to lean next to her instead.

“I was actually coming to see you about Unity Day.”

 

Clarke brightens at this, the change of topic breaks her out of their moment and she quickly starts to put away her work as she speaks.

"You know, every year I'm more and more thankful that we aren't in charge of that anymore. Madi suits the politics a thousand times better than we did... Or better than _I did_ anyway."

Clarke pauses to tease, "You've been an inspirational speaker since we were a couple of kids… Madi’s lucky to have had you to look up to for that. And I can't _wait_ to hear her speech, you know she's been working on it for weeks-”

 

“-hear her speech?” Bellamy gently envelopes her hand to slow her rambling: just as he's done a million times before. But this time an intimacy lingers again, and he has to remind himself why he was visiting in the first place. “So you _are_ coming tonight? To the festival?”

 

He can see in her body language that she's also thrown by the sudden heat in the air, but Clarke doesn't pull away from him... or avoid his he off-beat question.

 

" _Of course_ I am… Bellamy are you are sure everything's okay?”

 

Without being able to help it, Bellamy is smiling like a fool and with a little confidence now: he responds with a flirty wink: "It is now. I'll look for you later, Princess."

 

He makes a show of grasping her hand gently and kisses it dramatically before leaving, earning a curious giggle and head shake from Clarke. She resigns to him having lost his mind and shrugs off his behavior... for the most part.

 

All except one small voice, deep down, swooning and unable to stop looking at her hand affectionately.

 

-

  
  
It’s later in the evening and Bellamy finds himself standing with Murphy at the celebration, fidgeting with his formal jacket sleeve. Since most of their family had roles in orchestrating this evening, the two men are lurking by the refreshments waiting for the girls to appear.  
  
Unity Day is underway at the same venue as always: the old concert hall. A massive, victorian-style theatre traditionally used for politics and speeches: converted to a beautiful and formal space. Fine china and intricate decorations adorned every table, chandeliers throughout the space provide a dreamy glow around the room. Tables are lined up along the back wall: leaving a dance floor and small stage ready at the front

 

Bellamy has been anxious all afternoon, knowing how important this evening would be. Now: waiting with an impatient Murphy wasn’t helping his nerves.

 

“I swear she and Raven just do it all themselves." Murphy gripes, referring to the Engineering Department that Emori and Raven oversee. "Even with _all_ the people on their teams: they let their engineers stand on their hands and sort wires while the two of them keep this whole show running.”

 

Murphy takes another bite from the appetizer tray, shaking his head. “And I don’t even know where Jordan’s run off to. Wait… you saw him earlier, didn't you? When was he going to get here?”

 

Bellamy turns to respond, before the words are suddenly lost to him as his eyes wander across the room. Over Murphy's shoulder he spots Clarke coming down the staircase.

 

She’s wearing a flattering all white dress adorned with a pattern that catches in the light as she walks. He notices too her raindrop earrings (the ones he gave her for their leadership retirement) and her golden hair is falling over her shoulders in perfect waves.

 

Without so much as a word to Murphy _(“Who is clearly just a BLUR TO YOU NOW!”)_ Bellamy is across the room before he realizes he’s moving. 

 

On autopilot: he approaches her and reaches his hand to help her down the last steps. His mouth hangs open a little as he's lost looking at her in awe.

“Clarke, you look-”

 

She cuts him off immediately, looking down at herself self-consciously.

“Silly, I know, I told Madi it was too much-”

 

“Incredible.” That stops her in her tracks, her blue eyes piercing his immediately: searching them for something again.

 

“I was going to say: you look incredible.” he repeats, giving her a warm smile as he offers his arm. 

 

“C’mon, Madi should be just about ready... and I'm pretty sure she told me _a hundred_ times that we are supposed to sit up front together.” he adds.

 

Clarke eyes him suspiciously but takes his arm with a smile, pulling him closer than he remembers from before. 

“A seat at a table that has booze, I hope?” she whispers and nods to the long line of council members gathering offside of the stage to make their toasts and announcements.

 

Bellamy laughs and starts to lead her through the crowd, “You think we'd let you down? Murphy and I know to be prepared before our ladies arrive."

 

As it were, their group was grateful for the booze (and abundance of food trays that Murphy snuck to their table) as they sit through the long-winded speeches. Madi’s address, saved ‘til last, breathes much-needed life back into the celebration: her charisma and enthusiasm contagious throughout the room. 

 

The music keeps alternating between slow and fast-paced, many of the party-goers now feeling a little more brave and getting on the dance floor. Murphy and Raven are trying to show Jordan some moves, while Emori and Echo provided their own hip-swaying distraction to the cause. Bellamy and Clarke watched on from their table: howling at the look on Jordan’s face when the two women pulled each other closer shamelessly.

 

“It’s so good when we see them letting loose, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be used to it.” Clarke says, smiling but with a somber tone.

 

Bellamy nods, understanding exactly what she means. “Like you can’t quite believe we can just be happy like this, without a catch. Guess that’s the burden of keeping everyone alive all those years.”

 

As if on cue, Murphy starts to cut in on the Echo and Emori and is thrown (half-jokingly) back into the crowd by his wife. The two co-loaders are laughing again.

 

“Seeing them happy is worth the disbelief though” he adds, looking to Clarke with a smile.

 

She smiles back, the kind that makes her eyes light up, “ _Absolutely_ worth it.”

 

As they finished the last of their glasses, the music finally turns to something slower and the dance floor becomes more scarce. Their friends bee-line for the bar for refreshments, leaving Clarke and Bellamy feeling more on-their-own than before.

 

Looking over, Bellamy can see her watching the stage: her head moving subconsciously to the beat of the music.

 

Making up his mind at once, Bellamy sets down his glass and in one swift motion: stands and offers his hand. “Any chance I can offer the lady a dance?”

 

She smirks and nods silently, taking his hand and letting him lead her to the dance floor.

 

-

 

When they first reached peace on Sanctum and started hosting Unity celebrations, Bellamy dreaded some traditions more than others. It was important to the locals: to see their leaders open the floor with the first dance of the evening, but at the time Bellamy hadn’t danced in such a way since the ark. His mother had taught him how, a few weeks before he went to his first party as a teenager. He can still remember stepping on her toes as she coaxed him in circles to the beat of the music, and practicing with a young Octavia after.

 

But then he grew up, and life on earth didn’t allow for soft moments like that. So the prospect of doing it in front of a room full of people, was frankly terrifying.

 

Lucky for him, Clarke’s upbringing had allowed her to be well-versed in such traditions (as out of practice as she may have been). Sensing his hesitation, she had insisted on practicing for a full month beforehand, claiming half-heartedly that _she_ was the one nervous about the performance. That continued every year until they were able to fall into rhythm as if it were second nature. Eventually, their dance became something that Bellamy genuinely looked forward to: as a way to mark another year passed, together.

 

This time, as he carefully leads her to the dancefloor: something between them has shifted. Despite their not daring to say it out loud, he and Clarke are suddenly very aware that this will be their last dance together before everything changes.

 

Without another thought: Bellamy pulls her closer and softly nuzzles into her hair. He can feel her pause for a breath: waiting to see if he says something.

When an explanation doesn’t come, she simply gives into instinct and buries herself in his strong shoulder, holding him just as tight. With a sigh Clarke takes in the feel of him: his arms around her, how perfectly her body fits against his… for once she lets herself give in to the intimacy she’s held back for so long. 

 

When the song ends and Bellamy finally moves to face her, the air feels charged. Without thinking his gaze falls to her lips and he _swears_ that he can see her do the same. Taking a steadying breath, he stands back and takes her hand: and with a charming smile he gestures for her to follow.

 

She gives him an incredulous look, but obliges as he leads her through the crowd. They stop  behind the podium area and she raises an eyebrow when realizing they're at the locked roof-access. But Bellamy smiles again and pulls a set of keys from inside his jacket.

 

“Being in charge all those years still has its perks.” he smirks and takes her hand again, leading her up the narrow stairs.

 

-

 

When they finally reach the roof, Bellamy goes in front of Clarke to hold the door open for her. She’s half-way through offering a polite thanks when the words die, at the sight before her.

 

In the middle of the usually-bare rooftop: someone’s placed an old-time metal cafe table and two chairs, a circle of tealight candles decorating the tabletop (and scattered across the ledges around them). Two empty glasses sit on the far side of the roof: a bottle of something nearby at the ready. Beside it, Clarke recognizes the music player Murphy found their first day on Sanctum.

 

“Jordan gave me a hand.” Bellamy said sheepishly, when Clarke still isn’t speaking (instead she’s still gazing around in awe). He gently leads her forward a few steps, “I figured the formal occasion hasn’t ever really been our _thing_.”

 

The lightness in his tone breaks Clarke from her spell and she finally looks to him, her words still coming out breathless as she speaks. “What’s all this about….”

 

As soon as she says it, she stops and shakes her head. Already knowing the answer: “Madi told you.”

 

Bellamy doesn’t respond, instead he simply moves across the space and turns on soft melodies from the speaker.

 

_‘I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that…’_

 

“I only decided this morning.” Clarke continues, making her tone as disapproving as she can. “She told you at your morning coffee, didn’t she?”

 

“No.” Bellamy says shaking his head. “She told me _after_ I finished my coffee.”

 

‘ _And games that never amount to more than they're meant, will play themselves out…’_

 

_‘Words fall through me and always fool me, and I can't react...’_

 

His response earns him a light-hearted eyeroll, then he's looking at Clarke with an intensity she doesn’t recognize. 

 

His mind is made up. It’s now or never.

 

No more holding back. 

 

It’s time to say what he’s meant to tell her a hundred times before...

 

~

 **_Please come inside._ ** _Take care of them for me._ **_Clarke..._ **

 

 **_She will always put her people first. You should come home to yours._ ** _I'm sorry._

 

_Aligning the dish is a one-person job._

_Clarke can handle it._

 

**_I'm not losing her again. Come on, Clarke. I need you._ **

 

**_I'm not letting you go._ **

 

~

 

"Please don't go."

 

She sighs, worrying her lip before looking back up at him: tears starting in her eyes. “They don't need us anymore Bellamy.”

 

“No they don't.” he agrees immediately, but not in a sad way. He says it with resolve.

 

The silence hangs between them and Bellamy starts to come closer, not breaking eye contact, right into her personal space. Years of _exasperated_ yearning finally behind him: Bellamy gently cups her face in both hands and leans in, moving slowly. Giving her time to pull away.

 

Instead, Clarke lets her reservations go and leans into his touch with a soft sob. _As if to say goodbye._

 

“But I do.” he says, and she looks at him questioningly.

 

“I need you, Clarke.”

 

She tries to look away, but he holds her gaze before obviously letting his eyes fall to her lips, and pausing… then back to her piercing blues.

 

"I've always needed you in my life." he continues, "So badly that I didn't want to risk changing things between us. It's my fault that I haven't been...clear.”

 

He swears her expression darkens.

 

“But I can't let you leave, Clarke. Not without you knowing _exactly_ how I feel about you."

 

He leans in towards her as he speaks, again offering her time to pull away (or slap him, or to tell him to go float himself). Instead, she looks mesmerized. He’s so close now, she can feel his lips graise hers ever so softly as he speaks:

"...I _won't_ do that again."

 

Then, at the last second, Clarke sharply pulls him forward and into a kiss that takes his breath away. Her lips are demanding and rough against his, they both can’t stifle a moan as they _finally_ act on what they’ve felt for a lifetime.

 

As they part, the two erupt into happy laughter as Bellamy lifts her in his arms and spins them both around. When her feet land on the ground, Clarke’s kissing him again: slow and sweet, this time.

 

"I love you." she finally says softly: as if afraid she'll break the spell.

 

Bellamy smiles a brilliant smile and pulls her close again, "I've loved you for eons, Clarke Griffin."

 

The two of them stay on the rooftop the rest of the night, dancing and holding each other until the sun breaks over the horizon. As they watch a new day come: it brings with it a sense of peace that the two delinquent leaders hadn’t felt before. The sense that they're finally **_home, together._ **

_‘Falling slowly, eyes that know me_

_and I can't go back.’_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! <3

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! <3


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